Whirlwind of a Week

Oh what a week it has been!

I cannot remember the last time I have been this tired and it wasn't because of THON weekend. I've done the red bus tour, gotten lost a few (ok a lot of) times, met a ton of new people, and I have completely fallen in love with London. Every day has brought new challenges and experiences and I can't wait to see what else is in store.

I'm going to keep this relatively short because I could easily ramble on and on about everything I've seen and done since my arrival. But in this short time I have already learned so much about myself and really had the time to reflect on how far I have come from a mental health stand point. I was a little worried my anxiety would go into overdrive when I got here and I would not be able to take it all inane enjoy it. I'm not one who deals with having many sudden changes to my schedule all that well, but so far so good.

On a more beauty related note I am happy to say that I have finally gotten my hands on the Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer and it is every bit as good as advertised! Same goes for the Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish and the Soap&Glory Sugar Crush Body Wash. I nearly squealed like a weirdo when I used these for the first time after longing for them for such a long time. My plan whilst I'm here is to try/buy primarily products I can't/are extremely hard to/are more expensive to get in the states. The same goes for fashion. Topshop being less expensive over here is extremely dangerous for my bank account...

If these kinds of posts aren't your thing fear not, I will still be writing beauty, etc. related posts. But I thought it;d be nice to keep y'all, especially my family back home, updated on my travels. This ended up taking a different tone than I wanted, ah well.

Talk to y'all later!

Xx

Stepping Into My Comfort Zone

I know, I know… that sounds the opposite of what you are supposed to do. But hear me out!

I've mentioned before that I have only recently become more comfortable wearing what I want to wear. Meaning, that I normally chose to dress how everyone else was dressing to fit in rather than how I wanted. And let me tell you, there have been a few moments where I have wanted to revert back to the old me because of some comments.

For example, one of my current favorite pieces of clothing are dungarees/overalls, whatever you prefer to call them. I have a few pairs, my current favorite being my floral Kimchi Blue ones from Urban Outfitters. It was these I was wearing not too long ago when I got some interesting comments such as: 

"Overalls are for little kids." 

"Aren't you a little old to be wearing that?" 

"That outfit is for a 5-year-old." (that one was said when the person behind me thought I had music playing through my earphones when I actually did not.)

Sigh...they're so pretty 

My daddy always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." So even though I wanted to tell those people off, I held my tongue.

For once in my life, I'm wearing the kind of clothes I want to wear. Again, I know I've mentioned this before, but it is nice to not second guess pieces of clothing I think are cute because I think the majority of people would negatively judge me for it. So what if I wear things that the majority of people on my campus probably wouldn't wear? It's what makes me, me. I know it kind of sounds obnoxious, especially because there are many other people out there with a similar style to me, just not around me at my college (at least from what I've seen). I guess what I'm saying is that despite some of the negative comments I may get, it's nice to finally wear what I like and feel comfortable in and not just picking out things to wear because it is the norm.

When it comes to make-up, I have recently developed an addiction to lip products, especially lipsticks. Now that it is fall, red lipstick is a definite must for me (even though I would have never even touched it before this year, funny how things change). Wearing red lipstick is not abnormal, I would say it's extremely common. But what I have found is that very few on my campus ever wear it to class and only really do it for a night out. Sometimes the only person I come across that is wearing it during the daytime is a female professor. With the prevalence of red lipstick in the beauty world or whatever you want to call it, I do find it a little odd that not more people wear it on my campus. Maybe they do and I just happen to not come across them. I don't know about you, but I always feel like a badass when I wear red lipstick. I love wearing it. Makeup is fun and just because you don't wear a certain item/ any makeup at all, doesn't mean you can put another person down because they wear what you don't. Just like clothing, makeup is a form of expression and if someone wants to wear red lipstick to class, they can.

So I'm just going to put on my dungarees, my red lipstick, and embrace the real me.

Is there anything about your style that makes you stand out from others in our community?
Talk to y'all soon!

Xx

Well, That's Different

"Well that's a different hair color…"

Yes, my hair is currently not your typical color; it's a light purple with a slightly gray tint.

And I love it.

I have always wanted to dye my hair a fun color, I did dip-dye it blue back in the spring, but that was mainly to test the waters. I've always loved the look of purple hair in almost any shade and I have dying to do it myself. Especially after seeing it done on Kelly Osbourne and Perrie Edwards.

I didn't have it done in a traditional way however. This past weekend, I went home and had a hair appointment where we put heavy highlights in to lighten my hair back to a very light blonde (I am naturally a dirty blonde but we had dyed it brown earlier in the year and have been slowly working back to the light blonde - but I digress). While I liked this final result, I secretly had a different plan for it. When I can back to my apartment at school, I decided to go purple. 

To do so, I did some research a few months ago and finally settled on using the Fudge Clean Blonde Violet Toning Shampoo. This is a purple shampoo usually used to rid blonde hair of brassiness when used following the instructions. I, on the other hand, did not follow instructions. I lathered my hair generously using the shampoo and then put it in a twisty towel to sit for 30 minutes before washing it out; and then I did it again the next day. Now I have purple hair. 

It's probably going to be a pain in the rear end to maintain the color I want because I'm using a shampoo (and when I go back home for my short winter break and get my hair highlighted again to get the last of the brown out it may be a bit of an issue… oops) but in the end I'm really happy because the shampoo worked like a charm and that's all that matters. 

As far as reactions from other people are concerned, I've had numerous compliments and only a few mixed reactions. I'm sure there are people who don't like it and think I'm crazy, but that is their problem and not mine. The old me would not have had the confidence to do something like this in fear of what other people would think. Now, all I can think about is how boring it must be to not be able to fully express one's self in fear of other's reactions when in reality, you shouldn't base your appearance on what others think. If you like what you look like then that is all that matters in the end.

Talk to y'all soon!

xx

For Me

"She looks uptight as f***."

I may have had my headphones in, but I'm not deaf. And I may have had my sunglasses on, but I could still see you.

I was sitting on a bench eating lunch outside of the building my next class was supposed to be in since I still had about an hour before I needed to head inside. My old anxieties began to resurface immediately. Do I actually look uptight? Am I dressed funny? Am I too overdressed? Am I wearing too much makeup? Is my makeup noticeably running? Etc. Etc.

But that's where the "new" me decided to overpower the "old" me.

I looked down at my outfit and thought to myself, "I think I look cute. And that's all that matters."

In high school, I dressed to not stand out. I wanted to blend in no matter how different it was from what I actually wanted to wear. I was just too terrified of being negatively judged to be the real me. And I would be hard on myself because I knew I wasn't being 100% me, so I wasn't happy. When I would look in the mirror, I would constantly overanalyze my appearance to make absolutely sure no one could view me negatively. Of course I would constantly over think any glance my direction when I would be at school, and obviously all glances were negative in my mind, but I tried to "reduce" my then-unrealized (I realized them but didn't know they were anxieties/ refused to admit them) anxieties. Now I know that this is what tremendously helped contribute to my depression and my eventual downward spiral.

I could ramble on and on about this topic and I know I am far from the only person who gets self-conscious about what they wear. But at the end of the day, I dress for me and me alone. You dress for you and you alone. My thought process now is that as long as I like it, then that's all that matters. Confidence is a girl's best accessory and if someone is judging you for your appearance, then that says more about them than you.

Now, I'm not saying I don't judge people because let's be honest, most of us do. I just don't voice it. We all have our own style and views on fashion. In my opinion, there is no "correct" style. There is only "your" style that is strictly you. It's what makes you, you.

And honestly, it's better to be you and be different than lie to yourself and hid who you are. Even if it means turning a few heads.

xx